My good friend and fellow nursing student April was married over the weekend in a beautiful church ceremony. She was absolutely the loveliest bride. Her fiance was my David's best friend all through school. David was one of the groomsmen and I did April's hair and makeup. Pew, what a stressful day...I became reserved and anxious until after the ceremony, mostly do to self-imposed perfectionism, and when that was completed I felt a wash of relief. The reception was a wonderful. And it all worked out nicely. And I was left feeling flatlined. (-_-) I don't want a wedding!
Hey, all the married folks could explain their experience with this...I've been fascinated by honeymoon syndrome since the end of my finals. This semester I experienced a great deal of stress and finals were miserable. I couldn't eat and barely slept from thinking about the exams each day. Then, the second whole day after they were completed I woke up feeling hollow, lost, and w e i r d. I pushed through the morning, but felt only like sitting and staring! Sitting and crying! Sitting and yelling! What is this??? Mom explained the phenomenom, and I immediately called a married friend to confirm the diagnosis.
"You know what I'm talking about???"
"Yep," she said.
"And you experienced this???"
"Yep. Including disorientation and stomach pain."
"...........Oh geez I'm not having a wedding."
This discovery encourages me to become more aware of my own thought processes - that, and because God is challenging me to examine them. Understanding the scripture to "keep each thought captive" is hard. I've heard many people, Christian and non, say you cannot control thoughts, they just happen. I want to challenge that. I feel that we don't see ourselves as the master of our own minds because we don't try practice controlling them. Or even observing them. Does each person know their own logic patterns? Do you think of the same subjects every day? Do you think in a predictable manner? Are the processes mostly optimistic/pessimistic/melancholic?
Let's find out...
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4 comments:
I so love that picture.
And I'm with you.. although I loved my wedding, if I had it all to do over again, we'd have stuck with my original intent to do a small, personal thing and then SPEND THE MONEY ON SOMETHING FUN!
Does the hammer an chisel carve without a hand guiding it?
We are very much masters of our own minds, as we make the choices in which effect our thought generation. Also, our willingness to examine our thoughts, our decisions and pinpoint the why in making them gives us a greater understanding of ourselves and the grip we need to adjust.
Old people usually call this "growing up". I like to think it more "growing in".
First, that picture is very nice. Second, I enjoy reading your writings; you are quite eloquent in your wording. Third, I think everyone should have a wedding...if they want to. Maybe it's different for the bride than the groom, but I never really had "honeymoon syndrome." Finally, I think you can control your thoughts. I can consciously decide to think or not to think about various subjects. Dreams, however, may be another matter.
...I have total control of my dreams.
Thoughts, on the other hand, are more tricky. I'm not sure it's possible to be 100% in control of them - but different people are, in varying degrees, able to consciously alter their own minds.
Like most matters of the mind, I think it's all a personality thing.
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