Translucence

Although my family has had a home with a backyard pool for some years now, I've yet to become a laying-out type of girl. It's a rare occasion when I slip into a swimsuit to lay in the sun without the summer heat sending me scampering back inside. Also, if I do stay out for any amount of time, it's with heavy SPF sunscreen coated all over. The truth is, I like my paleness. I like being dark-headed with white skin. Sure, not tanning will have it's long-term advantages, but actually, I just like it. The paleness. It's different. I like seeing my veins underneath my skin, tracing blue roads on my body, as converging and diverging vessels. I like seeing the spikes of broken veins in old bruised areas and even the birthmark in stark contrast on my calf. I like the glossy black nail polish vivid on my toes and fingers. I like the pools of darkness under my eyes and the redness of my cheeks and lips. Mostly I like the veins on my wrist...spindly branching up into my palm, glowing blue beneath pale skin, with a faint criss-cross of scars whispering on top.

Thanks for your questions but-

There are, at times,

no explanations and no reason.

We're asked to accept and embrace

the unknown with faith.

But mine doesn't look the same as yours.

Life, that is.

My calling isn't yours and nope, it won't even resemble it.

You've hurt me, I've hurt you, but there's

not much to redeem when you're already redeemed in mercy.

Don't plan on me or cast your bet.

'Cause I don't know what "future" is.

I'm clinging to the ever-precious now.

When life gets inexplicable

Inexplicate it.


Step back and shake off your thoughts.
Re-evaluate from your paradigm.
Disregard other's opinions or pre-conceived judgements
until you seek advice from someone trusted.
Otherwise, shed all that fretting.
Move. Relax.
See where the river takes you.