12.21.2009
Jennfunique!
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12.15.2009
Rehview, rehview! Reco'mends for you!
Smashbox Sheer Focus tinted moisturizer...absorbs and covers well! No fuss, and it's my excuse for never wearing foundation. The SPF 15 is a plus, since I have decided to embrace my paleness. I've also tried Cover Girl Smoothers and Benefit You Rebel Lite. Cover Girl was creamier and coverage lasted only about 5 hours, where as Benefit held well but with sheerer coverage altogether.
12.10.2009
What children will teach, what adults will learn
I waited patiently during the long process, being delivered each utensil one by one, but it didn't matter the length of time I stood there. I would have waited twice as long. Seeing the precious earnestness of his desire to help and how he initiated his part to help was wonderful, and the positive reinforcement received from being thanked, over and over, for his voluntary efforts, was worth far more than saving ten minutes. It was worth giving everything to, because little buster brown is designing a pattern of thought right now, everyday, in response to the adults around him. It is worth everything to see that pattern be good and pure and kind.
The fall semester of nursing school ended on a very high note! The week of finals was admittedly very difficult, however, I was determined to spend every moment I could in the library, where I could truly focus, and memorize the key exam materials. The standardized examinations, called HESI, were Thursday and Friday for pediatrics and medical-surgical II, respectively. The spring 2010 precepting positions are granted according to HESI test scores and a random number lottery. I.e., if you've drawn number 1 out of 145 students, and score a 1000+ HESI, you will receive first dibs on any precepting position, anywhere, anytime. The HESI scoring system is bizarre and unexplainable. Two students can easily miss 15 questions, mostly the same, yet receive scores of at least a 100 points difference. And the questions themselves are hard. I missed 11 and scored a 987, and drew number 22 in the lottery. I'm praying this means I'll land my ideal preceptorship: Emergency room, at the larger hospital, pm-am shift.
At the end of the semester reviews, I went in to talk with my clinical advisor, Ms B, who was the course manager of Fundamentals, teaches clinical pediatrics, and will be the course manager of Community Health in the spring. She's a delightful older woman who is smart, kind, and to the point, and I have appreciated having her as my instructor throughout the program. To give me my course performance evaluation, which always sounds so daunting...I sat in her office while she scrambled papers and we talked about the past semesters high-points. She handed me my eval which I was supposed to read and sign, however I am still horrible at interpreting handwriting and it had to be read to me, like a baby. But after listening to her words, which turned out to be the highest praise, I could feel myself becoming very, extremely, emotional. It ended with her looking at me, saying "You have something special in you, and you will go very far in all your career endeavors."
Sometimes I just don't know what I am, who I am, where I am, and worst of all, what I am supposed to be. Isn't there supposed to be some answers around here when you're older? I can feel so fractured. Of course I did wonderful this semester, I always do. I promise I am not being fake...I just don't ever fail. You want a performance? I can perform. I can give what is desired. But what do I desire? ....I want to tell a story, feel emotions, have compassion, give like a sun, be wild like waves, hide like dark, whole and together. Just don't splinter me, don't ask me to be only one, or demand I settle down, stay off my convictions. I desire to be mature, I am responsible, but I'm very ready to leave this part behind, to turn the page. I am ready for my initiation. God's growing me right here today, in the way He desires me...but I think He's placed a doorway in my future...and I pray I get to turn the handle.
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11.29.2009
Without Condition
You'd rather stay far away from reality.
For you to understand would be clearly impossible;
So you shut your eyes and swear you can see.
Claiming there is a God, but does that mean anything?
So condescending to those that you don't understand;
Just too easy to make them your enemies.
Like an ostrich, you bury your head in the sand,
And then shout about all the things you believe.
But if there is a God, don't you think He can see
What you really mean? What you're doing?
You can't find the answers till you learn to question;
You won't appear stupid, just ask for direction.
You're insecure and it clouds your perception
So stop and listen
And learn a lesson in love without condition.
So place all the souls that you know in their own little box;
Quite convenient to handle them that way;
You're the only one you know who carries a cross
You don't care what they care about anyway.
And You talk to your God, prayin' for those who sin,
For their eyes to be opened.
-Ginny Owens
11.21.2009
When life gets inexplicable
Step back and shake off your thoughts.
Re-evaluate from your paradigm.
Disregard other's opinions or pre-conceived judgements
until you seek advice from someone trusted.
Otherwise, shed all that fretting.
Move. Relax.
See where the river takes you.
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11.16.2009
I'll paint you a picture that breaks the rule of thirds
Okay, here's the shimmy: In summer 2008 my friend Michelle Brightwell asked if I'd like to take some photos on Monte Sano. Then in November of that year, my friend Tyler Pierce asked if I'd like to walk downtown and take some photos. Then Tyler asked me to come to the North Alabama Photographer's Guild (NAPG) in February for a lighting session, where I met several extremely talented photographers, including Nicholas Franklin. Then throughout the spring different opportunities arrived for me to shoot with different people and a variety of photo concepts, including photographer John Crabtree and stylist Laurie Brandon. Then I recently met Atlanta photographer Marc Turnley when he invited me to another NAPG photoshoot after watching my Flickr photostream expand with Nicholas' photos. Then last week while Tyler was shooting around downtown a photographer named Roland from Captured Moments photography approached him about collaborating, and when Roland saw Tyler's portfolio he pointed me out, saying he wanted to meet me and even that, perhaps, he'd met me before. Well, he had. Roland and I met during the Huntsville casting call for America's Next Top Model, where Roland commented on my portfolio and said he wanted to shoot with me, which never happened. So Tyler emailed Roland's information to me and I set-up an appointment to meet Diana Henry, Roland's photography partner and now Vice President of Smith and Yorgure. Diana is currently searching for new, unsigned talent to front Smith and Yorgure's national fashion launch in the spring, and will be referring me to the designer's for their approval.
Please note, I have not lifted one single tiny pinky finger for any of this to happen. Everything has been in God's hands. It's all been word of mouth. It's all been random, it's all been surprising. And whatever God is sending my way is bound to leave me scratching my head in wonderment. How can I claim any glory from the way my life trails out and upwards? And this is merely the modelling - do not get me started on theatre, acting, and voice performance. That's another collection of coincidental stories for another potential post!
Down to earth again. Sigh. Academically....things are terrible. Grades are poor, and certainly not reflecting the effort I'm extending into studying! It's incredibly discouraging. Maybe there's a lesson in there, somewhere, I dunno. However, I'm burying myself in HESI and NCLEX review books from now until December 5th. I apologize in advance for the extended absence.
What I've reflected on many time this past week is how I desire to be an Esther. Since I was young, when mom purchased me a beautiful illustrated book of Esther's story, she was my role model. Esther was a jewish teenager, exiled, orphaned, and living with a caring uncle in one of the largest cities of the gentile nations. Her reputation of beauty and purity was known, such that the king's officials rounded her up during a nationwide quest for the perfect woman. What were her thoughts? Was she pleased, flattered? Did she resist? Was she bored and anything sounded exciting at that point? Actually, there's every indication that she was respectful, intelligent and kind. She agreed to attend, changed her name like her uncle Mordecai suggested, asked for advice from servants, grew in favor to the harem chamber's manager, and entertained a king enough to become his queen with "more approval and favor than any other of the virgins." Actually, she also "won approval in the sight of everyone who saw her." What an incredible reputation! She enraptured the king that ruled the 127 provinces in the India, and was clever, bold and obedient enough to dissuade his decision to commit a mass murder of the jewish inhabitants. The story is powerful to me.
Considering Esther's story, I think over the implications of such an incredible life... Yet what would we have assumed if we were watching this unfold from the outside? What if our next door neighbor was recruited in a beauty contest to spend a year of spa preparations for being with the king? And think of the criteria of virginity - she was living in a culture that celebrated sexual acts as part of their worship to many gods, a country where the king himself demanded that his first queen "show off her beauty" for his guests and then divorced her when she refused. What did her neighbors, her girlfriends, her relatives think when she left for the palace? Esther was indeed an unusual woman in an unusual position, yet this is where God's path led her. She was exactly where she needed to be, wielding exactly what influence required, to change the mind of a temperamental ruler of nations. Her act of faith and self-sacrifice was performed after much prayer and with complete reliance on God, declaring "If I die, I die." How amazing. Esther rose to the pinnacle of favor in the eyes of men as the queen, she had everything she ever desired, yet she stood in her royal robes and gilded chamber after listening to Mordecai's plea and surrendered it all to follow God's calling and save her people. This story has been spilling over into my thoughts so much, and I just pray I can one day have the faith that Esther exhibited.
My uncle Greg passed away last Tuesday without recovering from his coma. My aunt Kathy is distraught, and clings to the small comfort that there was no indication of suffering during his illness and coma. In addition to this blow, she must put two of her horses down because of an infection and a disability. These life changing events have left her alone, mourning, directionless, and deeply in debt. Please pray for Kathy as she is in this place of sorrow, and for the wisdom for my family to help her. We are saddened, but have hope that towards the end of Greg's life he was receptive to God and his word.
Sunday night Journey Group #WHJG is such a blessing. It is an incredible way to end a week/begin a new one, surrounded by a variety of interesting people and enjoying good conversations about Jesus. The environment is open and encouraging...to have a genuine church community surrounding you is amazing.
And...um...I hate to break the fourth wall, you know, but...I've been receiving much encouragement from friends and anonymous readers of my blog, so thank you! I sincerely appreciate all your comments! And scene. ^_^
//Let me talk to you! ((snapshot)) I love beauty and awkwardness and anything I can discover and I rarely dislike anything and dull things sparkle but are as hard as diamonds and there's always a back story and yet another level.//
[Post title from Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip '1000 Words'
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11.10.2009
A handful of quotables
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11.04.2009
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
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10.25.2009
9.26.2009
Envision
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9.16.2009
Listen to a joyous story!
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9.10.2009
Huck PAC
His new buzzwords were “market exchange,” “competition” “rugged individualism” and “tax credits.” He hammered on things, like requiring insurers to cover preventative care, or doing away with pre-existing condition limits. He even called for letting states do pilot projects to reduce frivolous malpractice lawsuits. He does however want to mandate that everyone carry health insurance, but he promised that 95 percent of small businesses would be exempt. And he swore that the public option wouldn’t require anyone to give up their current plan…although notice that isn’t a promise that your plan will still exist after the bill takes effect.
His promise that this plan will actually reduce the deficit was harder to swallow than a horse pill. Does anyone except for the Obama White House and Nancy Pelosi really believe that a new government health care program will be so efficient that it can be paid for just with all the waste and fraud we can wring out of another government health care program, Medicare?
Still, the President has a bigger problem than that. I’ll tell you what it is.
President Obama’s biggest problem is that last night, he made many clearly-stated promises that sound great – health care for all, lower costs, free colonoscopies – but that’s not what Congress is about to vote on. He talked as if the process is just starting, but there’s already a bill before Congress, and it’s a murky, 1,018-page monstrosity, and nobody can explain for certain what it says.
So here is my suggestion, if the President really wants to create a bipartisan, market-based health reform bill, the best way to start is not with a rebooted speech, but by booting the current bill and starting over from scratch.
9.08.2009
Accountability, yo
8.19.2009
Let's do this short-term-goal thing
8.13.2009
A sailor suit, a sailor suit, a rice ball in a sailor suit!

8.11.2009
Ignorance
I guess I'll go, make my own way.
It's a circle, a mean cycle.
I can't excite you anymore.
Where's your gavel, your jury? What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me,
Well sentence me to another life.
Don't wanna hear your sad songs.
I don't wanna feel your pain, when you swear it's all my fault.
Cause you know we're not the same.
Oh we're not the same,
The friends who stuck together.
We wrote our names in blood,
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good, it's good.
You treat me just like another stranger.
Well it's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go. I best be on my way out.
Ignorance is your new best friend.
This is the best thing that could've happened.
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it.
It's not a war. No, it's not a rapture.
I'm just a person, but you can't take it,
The same tricks that once fooled me.
They won't get you anywhere.
I'm not the same kid from your memory.
Now I can fend for myself.
You treat me just like another stranger.
Well it's nice to meet you sir.
I guess I'll go. I best be on my way out.
8.10.2009
E N F P
| Big Five Traits | Your Score | Facebook Average | This means you are.. |
| Extroversion | 92 | 64 | Very Extroverted. You are very sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people most of the time. |
| Agreeableness | 94 | 65 | Very Agreeable. You have a strong interest in others' needs and well-being. You are very pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. |
| Conscientiousness | 58 | 63 | Somewhat Free-Spirited. You enjoy living for the moment but are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled. |
| Emotional Stability | 38 | 57 | Neurotic. You can be upset by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional. |
| Openness to Experience | 98 | 73 | Very Open. You love novelty, variety, and change. You are very curious, imaginative, and creative. |
| Your Good Side: Tolerant Tolerant Types are open to, and accepting of, differences in other people. They care about the feelings of others and tend to take their opinions into account when making decisions. Their social skills are reasonably well-developed and they normally relate well to others in both co-worker and supervisory roles. They are described by others with such terms as good-natured, empathic, genial, tactful, diplomatic, calm, and poised. | Your Bad Side: Moody Moody Types tend to report experiencing many negative emotions and few positive emotions. They are described by others as complex, changeable, worried, depressed, tense, impatient, moody, anxious, irritable, nervous, quitting, unenergetic, unambitious, introverted, cold, unreliable, self-centered, negligent, and stubborn. |
8.04.2009
Baby, we're going down swinging
8.03.2009
One more time, with feeling
And the helium room inside your room has come undone
And it's pushing up at the ceiling and the flickering lights it cannot get beyond
Oh everyone takes turns
Now it's yours to play the part
And they're sitting all around you, holding copies of your chart
And the misery in their eyes is synchronized and reflected into yours
Hold on - one more time with feeling
Try it again - breathing's just a rhythm
Say it in your mind until you know that the words are right
This is, why we, fight.
Do do do do do do-we-oo-we-oo-we-oo
You thought by now you'd be so much better than you are
You thought by now they'd see that you had come so far
And the pride inside their eyes would synchronize into a love you've never know
So much more than you've been shown.
And I know that your love a'int never coming back no more
Time is all around except inside my clock
Everyone is waiting for their lover to unlock
Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees, when they're about to dry up
Time is all around, time is all around
I hallucinate a cat between my feet
I'm stepping lightly so as not to hurt it.
Everybody wants to say that you have changed
Of course you've changed, you've changed - your mind's been rearranged
Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees, when they're about to dry up
Why am I supposed to love if I don't want to love?
Why am I supposed to?
I'm so tired
Why am I supposed to love if I don't want to?
I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want, I don't want
7.29.2009
Bravado
7.27.2009
7.25.2009
I work hard every day of my life
7.21.2009
Pushing the shine
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7.20.2009
Battlefield
One minute, it’s love
And, suddenly, it’s like a battlefield
One word turns into a war.
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world’s nothing when you’re gone.
I’m out here without a shield - can’t go back now.
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing.
These times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it, now…
I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like...
Can’t swallow our pride, neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can’t surrender, then we’re both gonna lose what we had.
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
These times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don’t wanna fall for it, now…
I never meant to start a war
You know, I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield?
Better go and get your armor, get your armor, get your armor, get your armor.
I guess you better go and get your armor...
We could pretend that we are friends tonight
And, in the morning, we wake up, and we’d be alright
‘Cause, baby, we don’t have to fight
And I don’t want this love to feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
I guess you better go and get your armor…
7.15.2009
Two Birds
One tries to fly away
And the other watches him close from that wire
He says he wants to as well, but he is a liar
I'll believe it all, there's nothing I won't understand
I'll believe it all, I won't let go of your hand
Two birds on a wire
One says c'mon and the other says "I'm tired.
The sky is overcast and I'm sorry."
One more or one less, nobody's worried
I'll believe it all, there's nothing I won't understand
I'll believe it all, I won't let go of your hand
Two birds of a feather
Say that they're always gonna stay together
But one's never going to let go of that wire
He says that he will, but he's just a liar
Two birds on a wire
One tries to fly away and the other
Watches him close from that wire
He says he wants to as well, but he is a liar
Two birds on a wire
Once tries to fly away and the other...
6.23.2009
Hello, I Love You
This one is great too - I couldn't resist blogging it as well! Nick's play with tones and lighting is fantastic. The background was processed to fade behind to make my body pop forward, but otherwise this is pretty much untouched from the camera.
6.21.2009
Unhappy Girl
^ Rock star photoshoot with Nick Franklin ^
Much more going on in my life than just posing, but in all sincerity it's too overwhelming to blog. Number one priority is directing a theatre program for under-privileged kids in Lincoln Village. The performances are Saturday and I need to focus on all the details until then. Caoi!
Browse Nick's Flickr page for more pics from this series - and see all his own fabulous photos.
5.29.2009
20 is ever so young
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5.18.2009
Honeymoon syndrome

5.14.2009
Returning to me
5.08.2009
To prevent explosion
5.03.2009
The Great Divorce
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5.01.2009
Lately





4.23.2009
Lately, it's been about finals
4.22.2009
Goodwill lovin'
4.19.2009
Don't tell me I can't
4.17.2009
Launch!!!!
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4.13.2009
A fountain so deep, no one need thirst
4.10.2009
So long... (alt title: live free and prosper)
4.09.2009
Nude
You paint yourself white and fill up with noise, but there'll be something missing
Now that you've found it, it's gone. Now that you feel it, you don't.
You've gone off the rails
So don't get any big ideas - they're not gonna happen
You'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking
4.05.2009
A little water
It was a casual study day at the Crabtrees...until John dragged me into a golf cart and off we ride to a hidden waterfall where faeries frolic and a green umbrella is the only prop you need...
4.02.2009
What I do ain't for babies
3.31.2009
Let's do this
3.23.2009
Renew our world.... be the difference
3.11.2009
God Send
is measured by the current authorities
weighty value of the masses
The sway of popularity
along with political opinion
global sexually transmitted diseases
and the amoral, and personal
choice to kill
wage in opposition to the
beautiful new life.
dependent on life blood,
secluded in a room of pulsing peace,
swathed in a sheen of vibrant ruby
awainting its breathless entrance.
and your ever-important
right to kill
3.03.2009
2.18.2009
Client: #327
Diagnosis: right lung mass
DATA :
Assessment: Client did not demonstrate orientation or alertness but responded to direct questioning about pain by raising hand. Client in semi-fowlers position, eyes unfocused with left eyelid dropping, head arched back into pillow, mouth open, chest heaving, vesicular breath sounds, bloody sputum, crackles and wheels identified, neck veins extended, capillary refill +3, yellow concentrated urine output 25 ml, no bowel sounds noted, skin flushed, very warm, very dry with flaking, turgor loose, severe cachexia with visible skeleton and large darkened patches on both arms. Patent catheter line and morphine IV drip running. Client is DNR.
VS 93/59 151pulse 44resp 83 96axillary
Medications: Atrovent 0.02% NEB 0.5, Decadron 4mg/ml, Levaquin 500mg/100ml, Protonix 40mg, Proventil 2.5mg, Reglan 10mg, Ativan 0.5, Compazine 10mg, Morphine carpuject 1-2mg, Morphine 100mg, Zofran 8mg
PLAN : The client is a 55-year old white male with a right lung mass in end-stage cancer, MI in 2005, history of multiple illnesses. Daughter at beside. Comfort measures to be provided.
Nursing Diagnosis: none
IMPLEMENTATION :
0720 IV Morphine drip dosage increased to maximum allowable per physician’s order
0830 Daughter left room to tell nurse that her dad the client had passed away. Declared dead by attending physician at 0840. Post mortem care provided, including removing all lines and cleaning body, arranged client for family viewing.
NAPG Photoshoot
AHEN is the code
2.09.2009
Stratified
2.08.2009
My Philosophy for Life
1.31.2009
America's Suitehearts
I know you've heard this all before, but we're just Hell's neighbors.
Why, why, why won't the world revolve around me?
Build my dreams, trees grow all over the streets.
But I don't know much about classic cars,
But I've got a lot of friends stuck on classic coke.
Down, set, one,
Hut, hut, hike,
Media Blitz!
Lets hear it for America's Suitehearts!
But I must confess, I'm in love with my own sins.
Lets hear it for America's Suitehearts!
But I must confess,I'm in love with my own sins.
You can bow and pretend that you don't, don't know you're a legend.
Time, time, time hasn't told anyone else yet.
Let my love loose again.
But I don't know much about classic cars,
But I've got a lot of friends stuck on classic coke.
Down, set, one,
Hut, hut, hike,
Media Blitz!
You could have knocked me out with a feather
I know you've heard this all before
Lets hear it for America's Suitehearts!
But I must confess, I'm in love with my own sins.
Lets hear it for America's Suitehearts!
But I must confess, I'm in love with my own sins.
1.23.2009
Average garbage
1.15.2009
Of note
1.07.2009
Know
1.03.2009
Potential and Restructure
12.29.2008
Hey-o it's over, and about to begin
12.25.2008
The tidings of the season to you!
12.21.2008
12.13.2008
holiday spirits!
Let's play here and now
11.25.2008
Today/tomorrow/sincerely I thank God for...
11.24.2008
Survive and prosper
Advair 500/50mcg, one puff twice daily
314.99 (60.24 w/ insurance)
Maxair Autohaler 400 puffs total, two puffs four times daily, fifteen minutes prior to exercise and PRN
177.99 (23.64 w/ insurance)
Ocella tablet, one daily
173.89 (35.84 w/ insurance)
Prednisone 20mg tablets, one tablet three times daily for twenty days
11.99 (0.65 w/ insurance)
SMZ/TMP tablets, one daily
32.89 (2.34 2/ insurance)
11.17.2008
I'll write you a poem, dripping
11.16.2008
To whom it may concern
MyMy parents began home schooling me at age seven, and I remained home schooled until my graduation at age 16. Throughout my education, my parents always emphasized the primary importance of learning and understanding, not just rote memorizing. They instilled in me the desire to comprehend new material so I can better utilize it later in life. I enrolled in Calhoun Community College’s dual enrollment program my senior year so I could complete my high school course requirements and also receive college credit. I loved the college experience and enjoyed all my classes.
I have many varied interests which include, but are not limited to, USTA tennis, local community theatre, TeenPact for Alabama, Alabama Music Teacher's Association statewide piano competitions, YMCA exercise classes, Huntsville Times Teen Page, sewing societies, dance instruction, and Kingdom Life Fellowship Church. I have volunteered extendedly at Constitution Village, Fantasy Playhouse, Lincoln Village ministries and on governmental campaigns. I know these hobbies and pursuits will benefit me in my academic major and in pursuing a well-rounded outlook on life.
In May of 2006 I graduated high school from Excalibur Christian Home School Group with a high school GPA of 4.0 and a college dual enrollment GPA of 3.5 and 18 college credit hours. I was accepted as a member of Phi Theta Kappa and the Dean's List. I received Redstone Arsenal's Calhoun Community College $2000 scholarship and continued my education at Calhoun until Spring 2007. I transferred Fall 2007 to University of Alabama at Huntsville. Now I have completed 84 academic hours and maintain a GPA of 3.4.
My declared field of study is Nursing, with the possibility of continuing education in graduate studies. Since I was young, I wished to enter a vocation where I may communicate with people and assist them all I can. Nursing is a field I feel called into as a career and way of life, and working on a pediatric floor is my first career goal. Receiving a scholarship can set that goal within reach through financial assistance. In the following two years I will strive to receive a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from the UAH Nursing Department.
Thank you for your consideration!
Shine
Who cares what we’ve earned?
Somebody’s sold all the truth that you’ve yearned.
Remember when we used to shine?
And had no fear of sense or time.
When it creeps up on you
You can’t cry when there’s nothing to feel
No one’s noticed our loneliness
Remember when we used to tease
And made us scream eternal joy
I believed that you’d always be here
‘Cause once you promised a life with no fear
Please don’t break my ideals
And say what’s fake was always real
I was the one and only
Take me back again
-Muse
11.09.2008
Fall in your lap
11.03.2008
A short observation on healthcare and tomorrow
When deciding to vote for a candidate, there are numerous topics to research. Most Americans scrutinize the topics they consider personally important, or that would significantly influence their culture, lifestyle and habits. When I approached the candidates from a health care perspective, it became very confusing. This topic directly affects my future career as a nurse. Health care problems are being addressed through several different policies, according to each candidate’s position. Yet since I agree with a couple of policies from each candidate, it was necessary to sort through which policies I consider important and effective for the problems.
Health care for everyone is fundamental in my worldview. I desire for all people of all ages to have access to healthcare. McCain specifically states that every American deserves healthcare, including alternate treatment settings and cost-effective measures. Obama stresses healthcare for the underprivileged and children, requiring mandatory health insurance for minors in particular.
Regulation of healthcare safety is also a concern. Obama emphasizes hospital responsibility with compulsory federal regulations, including RN/patient ratios. McCain emphasizes consumer knowledge on treatment options and outcomes, and providing Medicare payments for diagnostic visits and disease prevention measures.
Healthcare would only be effective if it were affordable. Obama revealed a detailed plan for affordable healthcare that incorporated national public health insurance with income-related subsidies called the National Health Insurance Exchange. Also, he desires to expand Medicaid, and would require employers to offer an insurance program to all employees. McCain addressed the issue through a Guaranteed Access Model that is state-based, with financial assistance for lower-income peoples and premium-limitations on insurance companies. McCain’s approach to employer insurance is to drop favorable tax treatment of businesses, and instead provide a tax refund to individuals and families for private insurance coverage.
In considering healthcare professionals education, Obama supports loan-repayments, reimbursements, training grants, and $4000/yearly tuition credit for all student nurses. Although tuition credit would be a great assistance to student nurses, I consider it an inequitable neglect towards other students who are pursuing engineering, biology, chemistry, and other fields that contribute directly to healthcare in our nation.
When deciding which candidate’s policies would be best for nursing only, Barack Obama demonstrates the most supportive policies for the nursing profession. However, the majority of his healthcare strategy incorporates a national infrastructure that requires enormous government funding. Obama does not address how this funding will be obtained, presumably from increased federal taxes.
When considering the candidates’ political policies regarding general healthcare, I am supportive of McCain’s course of actions. Limiting insurance premiums, emphasizing prevention of disease through testing and education, providing state insurance plans, and a tax refund for private insurance coverage are the strategies I wish to see implemented. These would allow for freedom of individual responsibility with support for the underprivileged, without the formation of a national healthcare insurance set up.
References:
American Nurse’s Association (2008, August 18). Documents. ANA Policy and 2008
Presidential Candidates Obama & McCain. Retrieved http://nursingworld.org/MainMenuCategories/ANAPoliticalPower/Election2008/2008Presidential/PresEndorseProcess/ANAPolicyand2008PresidentialCandidates.aspx
McCain, John (2008, October 12). Healthcare. Straight Talk on
Health System Reform. Retrieved
http://www.johnmccain.com/content/default.aspx?guid=8475c713-a541-4b97-a2aa-800e35da37bb
Obama, Barack (2008, October 12). Healthcare. Obama-Biden Health Care Plan.
Retrieved http://www.barackobama.com/pdf/issues/HealthCareFullPlan.pdf
-K R
11.02.2008
Remove the scales from our eyes
God, the wicked get away with murder—how long will you let this go on? They brag and boast and crow about their crimes!
They walk all over your people, God, exploit and abuse your precious people. They take out anyone who gets in their way; if they can't use them, they kill them. They think, "God isn't looking, Jacob's God is out to lunch."
Well, think again, you idiots, fools—how long before you get smart? Do you think Ear-Maker doesn't hear, Eye-Shaper doesn't see? Do you think the trainer of nations doesn't correct, the teacher of Adam doesn't know? God knows, all right--knows your stupidity, sees your shallowness.
How blessed the man you train, God, the woman you instruct in your Word, Providing a circle of quiet within the clamor of evil, while a jail is being built for the wicked. God will never walk away from his people, never desert his precious people. Rest assured that justice is on its way and every good heart put right.
Who stood up for me against the wicked? Who took my side against evil workers? If God hadn't been there for me, I never would have made it. The minute I said, "I'm slipping, I'm falling," your love, God, took hold and held me fast. When I was upset and beside myself, you calmed me down and cheered me up.
Can Misrule have anything in common with you? Can Troublemaker pretend to be on your side? They ganged up on good people, plotted behind the backs of the innocent. But God became my hideout, God was my high mountain retreat, then boomeranged their evil back on them: for their evil ways he wiped them out, our God cleaned them out for good.
10.30.2008
I'm going to try
10.23.2008
Hideaway
A canvas of a billion suns
But our local hero shines them out by day
Safe for the winking of a Venus or Mars
Even the stars
Sometimes fade to gray
Even the stars
Hideaway
I see the bare moon raise it's big bald head
I see my friends play the fool
I'll make my own way in the wide world
Just know I don't want to wander too far
Even the stars
Sometimes fade to gray
Even the stars
Hideaway
Some call me all kinds of names
Some say I don't play the right kind of game
I try to be honest, I try to be kind
And honestly leave when I know that it's time
I know that it's time
Hear a phoebe sing his only song
The summer's day is hovering
I'll write my full heart troubles while I can burst
Out the windows of our traveling car
Even the stars
Sometimes fade.....
10.15.2008
a futuristic list containing a ray of motherly aspiration
Alli
Ari
Beatrix
Demi
Ella
Elisha
Emily
Frances
James
Jaden
Jem
Jewel
Jules
Julia
Katherine
Katrina
Keaton
Killian
Ives
Lane
Liam
Leigh
Louis
Mary
Rea
Rin
Sara
Schuyler
Sean
William
10.02.2008
Trusted
and I held it in my hands
regulated with a pulse of exposed emotions
it was firm
but pliable underneath my influence
perhaps a word, a tone, a glance could make it cease -
- so great was the responsibility
- greater than I wish to admit
It was a gift
and I locked it up, tight
trying maybe saving it from the murder I could....commit
maybe
One day, a recall
One day you'll take back(heart)
A swift searing pain
A recoil of raw emotions
and I'll realise with a wry stretched smile
what happens when your love kills
and though it was a gift I'll return it
because so long it had been mine(heart)
And you will blame me.
The blame:
It's termination
It's wretched hurt
It's pallid beat -
damn it
It's blood should never
It's blood could never
Be on my hands
- because it was a gift.
11.1.2006
9.14.2008
Diagnostic Puppy Love
Is this obsession
Is this rediculous
Is this lust
Is this running heedless
Is this insane
Is this far too soon
Is this much too deep
Is this rebellion
Is this adoration
Is this perfect
Is this blindly flawed
Is this real
Is this right
Is this
Love [one year and seven months flying blind toward the sun]
2.14.2007
8.25.2008
Please read
http://recoveringhelen.blogspot.com/2008/08/real-fairy-tales-vs-4-tenet-romantic.html
8.14.2008
If you do, if you don't
I’ll go at it alone if I have to, but I need you there.
I’m honest with nobody else -
Whether or not I make it there is will itself.
And I’m honest with only myself -
I can’t afford to lose you now, not in this hell.
But I’ll stay with you!
I’m a mess and so a wreck, a poor excuse without you near to keep me in check.
So take me out, and take me anywhere!
I’m out of touch with everything and I don’t care.
So I must be out of my mind.
The offer I have to give to you is all my time, so I’ll stay with you.
We sing over and over
....And baby I'm a waste of time
-Cartel
8.04.2008
Build god
Appealing only because they are just that un-appealing
Any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering.
The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde,
And the habit of decomposing right before your very (lalalala) eyes.
Along with the people inside
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Tonight tenants range from: a lawyer and a virgin
Accessorizing with a rosary tucked inside her lingerie
She's getting a job at the firm come Monday.
The Mrs. will stay with the cheating attorney
Moonlighting aside, she really needs his money.
Oh, wonderful caricature of intimacy.
Yeah
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
As he said to the Mrs. Well, only hours before,
After he had left, she was fixing her face in a compact.
There was a terrible crash between her and the badge
She spilled her purse and her bag, and held a "purse" of a different kind.
Along with the people inside
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
There are no raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses.
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things.
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
7.22.2008
Summer playlists
Jason Mraz-We Sing We Dance We Steal Things.
Jack Johnson-In Between Dreams
John Mayer-Continuum
Norah Jones-Come Away With Me, Feels Like Home
KT Tunstall-Eye to the Telescope, Drastic Fantastic
Paul McCartney-Chaos and Creation, Memory Almost Full
Untitled:
Panic at the Disco-Pretty.Odd.
Portal-Still Alive (single)
Juno-Original Soundtrack
Moulin Rouge-Original Soundtrack
Slow Beauty:
Rufus Wainwright-Poses, Want One, Want Two
Sarah McLachlan-Afterglow, Fumbling Towards Ecstacy, Surfacing
Fiona Apple-Extraordinary Machine, Tidal
Fine Frenzy-One Cell in the Sea
Aqualung-Strange and Beautiful, Memory Man
Beyond the Neighborhood:
The Shins-Chutes Too Narrow, Oh Inverted World, Wincing the Night Away
Snow Patrol-Eyes Open, Final Straw
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin-Pershing
Athlete-Beyond the Neighborhood, Tourist, Vehicles and Animals
Back Then Right Now:
Queen-Greatest Hits
Van Morrison-Brown Eyed Girl (single)
George Thorogood-Who Do You Love (single), Bad to the Bone (single)
Creedance Clearwater Revival-Have You Ever Seen the Rain (single),
Down on the Corner (single), Up Around the Bend (single),
Susie Q (single)
Don McLean-American Pie (single)
Rolling Stones-Paint It Black (single)
ABBA-Greatest Hits
More than Music:
Danny Elfman-Sernada Schizophrana
Pan's Labyrinth-Original Soundtrack
Fellowship of the Ring/Return of the King-Original Soundtrack
The Secret Garden-Original Soundtrack
7.21.2008
There's the line you must draw, the line you must cross
take a plunge / no shifting doubt and drowning fear.
If I reveal myself to you, would you be gentle?
I'm new to this, and I'm treading tentively on unwashed sand.
There's always potential abandonment / crash and burn.
Yet here I stand.
So this is what it feels like and why the poets die.
I could kill for something like this.
"How long could it last?"
"What will you teach me?"
"Where will we go?"
"Do I trust you?"
Yes.
(I used to be afraid of losing my heart.
Now I'm only afraid of losing you.)
12.4.06
7.08.2008
Bold as Love
Queen Jealousy, envy waits behind him, her fiery green gown sneers at the grassy ground
Blue are the life-going waters taken for granted, they quietly understand.
The once happy turquoise armies lay opposite ready
But wonder why the fight is on.
But they're all bold as love
Yeah, they're all bold as love
They're all bold as love
Just ask the axis
My red is so confident that he flashes trophies of war and ribbons of euphoria
Orange is young, full of daring but very unsteady for the first go around
My yellow in this case is not so mellow, in fact I'm trying to say it's frightened like me
And all these emotions of mine keep holding me from
Giving my life to a rainbow like you
I'm bold, bold as love
Just ask the axis
Yeah he knows, he knows everything
I'm bold, bold as love
-John Mayer
6.30.2008
6.25.2008
6.17.2008
undefined, lost, give up?
Defining characteristics > unpredictability, joy, empathy
Loves > writing, music, Jesus, the boys, mom and dad, melodies, lyrics, modeling, photos, sewing, Gammy, Granny, Grandmamma, PawPaw, designing, caring, loving, touching, David, manga, poetry, antiques, vintage, details, patterns, nature, creating, freedom, schedules, organization, chaos, the infinite, friends, sponteneaity, posing, windows, bubble baths, change, kissing, trips downtown, parks, life, art, great heights, driving, money, beauty, giving, volunteering, children, noise, personalities, learning, running away, exercise, yoga, traveling, clothes, movement, loving, thinking, performing, security, mercy.
Now what?
6.10.2008
these are just a couple of my cravings.
Everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker
a little bit harmful for me.
If I should buy jellybeans, have to eat them all in just one sitting.
Everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter, a little bit fatter
a little bit harmful for me.
And then there's those other things, which for several reasons we won't mention.
Everything about them is a little bit stranger, a little bit harder
a little bit deadly.
It isn't very smart. . .
Tends to make one part so broken-hearted
Sitting here remembering me.
Always been a shoe made for the city.
Go ahead, accuse me of just singing about places
with scrappy boys faces have general run of the town.
Playing with prodigal songs takes a lot of sentimental valiums
Can't expect the world to be your raggedy andy
While running on empty, you little old doll with a frown.
You got to keep in the game, maintaining mystique while facing forward.
I suggest a reading of 'a lesson in tightropes' or 'surfing your high hopes'
or 'adios kansas'.
It isn't very smart. . .
Tends to make one part so broken-hearted.
Still there's not a show on my back, holes or a friendly intervention.
I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit irish a little bit tower of pisa whenever I see you.
So please be kind if I'm a mess!
. . . Cigarettes and chocolate milk
Don't ever change, don't ever worry because I'm coming back home tomorrow.
To 14th Street where I won't hurry
Where I'll learn how to save not just borrow and they'll be rainbows and we will finally know.
Why'd you have to break all my heart - Couldn't you have saved a little bit of it?
Why'd you have to break all my heart - Couldn't you have saved a minor part?
-Rufus Wainwright
6.05.2008
You could do better
of sunlight, of sunlight.
Vast open sky could do no harm, like an embrace the lover's arms.
In sunlight, in sunlight.
With every year that came to pass.
More clouds appeared, the sky went black.
And there was no sunlight, no sunlight.
Anymore...
It disappeared with the same speed.
With idealistic timing the optimist died inside of me.
No sunlight, no sunlight.
It disappeared with the same speed.
With idealistic timing the optimist died inside of me.
Your kept in an open cage so your free to leave or stay.
Sometimes you get confused.
There's a hint that I'm trying to give you.
The longer you think the less you know what to do.
It's hard to see your way out when you live in a fallacy house.
You don't realize that the windows were open the whole time.
We stayed together out of fear
Of dying alone
I've been slipping through the years
My old clothes don't fit like they once did
So they hang like ghosts
Of the people I've been
It's like my heart can't take
My fall in love every day
And I feel like a fool
I have to face the truth
That no one could ever look at me like you do
Like I'm something worth holding on to
These times I think of leaving
But it's something I'll never do
'Cause you can do better than me
But I can't do better than you
5.12.2008
Current pursuits
Elaborate on the increasing territorial aggression in contemporary rap lyrics
Research the correlation between the rising percentage of Autism diagnosis in America and mandatory vaccinations for toddlers and adolescents
Blowing one bubble-gum bubble inside another
Deny every step I take/every step I hate but still take
Record the fees, the fees, the other fees - I don't even want to be here!
3 dresses, 1 tank top, pair of flip-flops, 1 skirt, 2 bras, 3 panties, more make-up, 3 prescriptions filled
=W A S T E D money=
Dang amaretto sours are amazing, though
5.10.2008
Student Information
| Current Program | |
|---|---|
| Bachelor of Science in Nursing | |
| Level: | Undergraduate |
| Program: | BSN in Nursing |
| Admit Term: | Fall 2007 |
| Admit Type: | Transfer |
| Catalog Term: | Fall 2007 |
| College: | Nursing |
| Major and Department: | Lower Division Nursing, Nursing |
| Academic Standing: | Good Standing |
| CRN | Subject | Course | Section | Course Title | Campus | Final Grade | GPA Hours | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11559 | BYS | 314 | 01 | ANATOMY & PHYSIOLOGY II | Main | B+ | 4.000 | |
| 10833 | NUR | 306 | 02 | ETHICAL/LEGAL ASPECTS HLTH CAR | Main | B+ | 3.000 | |
| 11677 | NUR | 450 | 01 | ISSUES IN TRANSPLANTATION | Main | A | 3.000 | |
| 10689 | PHL | 202 | 03 | INTRODUCTION TO ETHICS | Main | A- | 3.000 |
| Attempted | Earned | GPA Hours | Quality Points | GPA | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Current Term: | 13.000 | 13.000 | 13.000 | 45.000 | 3.462 | |
| Cumulative: | 25.000 | 25.000 | 25.000 | 85.000 | 3.400 | |
| Transfer: | 0.000 | 38.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | |
| Overall: | 25.000 | 63.000 | 25.000 | 85.000 | 3.400 | |
5.09.2008
Starlight
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories of the people who care if I live or die
I don't know if it's worth it anymore
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms
My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories of the people who care if I live or die
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
-Muse
5.04.2008
Exploration of Diabetic Peripheral Neuropathy:
Peripheral neuropathy (PN) involves a disruption of the action potential transmission in peripheral nerves, either through the deterioration of the axon, axonopathy, or the deterioration of the myelin sheath, myelinopathy. This causes tingling sensations, numbing, temperature disparity or pain in the digits and limbs of the patient. The first form of genetic PN includes genetic code mutations, and the second form of PN is acquired by chemicals, toxins, nutritional deficiency, and tumors. Although many acquired causes can be identified for PN, diabetes mellitus is the most frequently diagnosed (Daousi et al 2006). “Peripheral Neuropathy can be the result of genetics, chronic disease, environmental toxins, alcoholism, nutritional deficiencies, or side effects of certain medications. Among chronic diseases, diabetes mellitus is the most common cause of PN” (Head, 2006). The focus of this paper is to explore axonopathy and myelinopathy within the context of acquired diabetic peripheral neuropathy, which, according to Koopman et al 2006, represents “a serious public health concern.”
Nervous tissues consist of highly-specialized cells that conduct action potentials to and from the central and peripheral nervous systems. A neuron is the basic cell of the system and it is composed of a neural cell body that extends into an axon. This axon is swathed in a myelin material from Schwann cell membranes that facilitate the conduction of an action potential. “During the wrapping process, the cytoplasm is squeezed from between the adjacent layers of Schwann cell membranes, so that when the process is completed a tight coil of plasma membrane material (protein-lipoid material) encompasses the axon” (Marieb and Mitchell, 2007). This axon and myelin have an exact composition and overall proportion for optimum conductivity, “maximum insulating ability, and maximum protection. Myelin is composed mainly of lipid, but also contains a number of myelin-specific structural proteins” (van Gemert &
Acquired PN develops during a continuous or intermittent exposure to a damaging substance or nutritional deficiency through vasoconstriction. A damaging substance such as a radical or toxin can attack the axon first and myelin secondary, causing axonopathy, or attack the myelin alone, causing myelinopathy. Axonopathy and myelinopathy are distinguished by the specific effects of the attacking substance, or by the specific effects of a hindrance on the neuron’s health. A tumor growth can cause nutritional and vascular deficiency in axonopathy and myelinopathy, which stymies the neuron’s ability for action potential conduction.
Axonopathy and myelinopathy are jointly involved in diabetic neuropathy. Both disorders inhibit the proper conduction of an action potential leading to neuropathic symptoms, and the effects are acute. Symptoms are pain, numbness, loss of temperature differentiation, loss of reflex, loss of balance, inflammation, erectile dysfunction, and inability to distinguish small objects by touch are commonly exhibited. These issues, especially the pain, greatly affect the patient’s quality of life. Seventy-five percent of diabetic patients report moderate to severe pain as a primary symptom of diabetic neuropathies, according to Cocito et al 2006.
In diabetic axonopathy, demyelination is a secondary event to the destruction of the axon. “Axonal degeneration is the primary event, and this eventually results in fiber loss with the attendant removal of the myelin sheath” (Spencer and Shaumburg, 1978). The axon destruction is caused by vasoconstriction, and soon neuronal hypoxia and ischemia develops. Also, osmotic stress caused by free-floating polyls and metabolic toxins develops around the axon during the diabetic hyperglycemic state.
Diabetic myelinopathy affects a broad spectrum of distal nerves at a time, demonstrating that “primary demyelination would be scattered. . . not limited to any one nerve fiber.” (Spencer and Shaumburg, 1978). There are two basic types of primary demeylinators that cause myelinopathy. “Some demyelinating chemicals seem to leave intact the myelinating cells (Schwann cells), while others damage the myelinating cells as well as the myelin. The significance between the two is that with the myelinating cells still intact, repair of the myelin sheath is possible. “Regeneration of the myelin layers can occur, and in some cases occurs at the same time other axons are undergoing toxic demyelination” (van Gemert &
Regeneration of axons and myelin sheath relies on length of exposure, what factors were attacked to cause the neuropathy, and the “trophic support” that remains intact. “Trophic support in a general sense encompasses any proteins or group of proteins that could influence the survival of the axon” (Madison, Robinson and Chadaram, 2007). Proteins include growth factors such as neurotrophin-3, glia-derived neurotrophic factor, and fibroblast growth factors. “Recent studies have shown the development of oligondendrocytes and the synthesis of myelin are extensively controlled by growth factors” (van Gemert & Killeen, 1997). Research involving growth protein supplementing in diabetic patients that could improve the regeneration of deteriorated or un-functional neurons.
Diabetes mellenitus affects 20.8 million, or 7%, of children and adults in the
According to Jarmuzewska et al 2006, hypertension serves as the primary inducer of diabetic neuropathy, and diabetes duration and metabolic imbalance are involved in its progression. According to Sawant et al 2007, oxidative stress on neurons by free-radical formation and a defect in antidioxidant defenses will induce also neuropathy. “An imbalance between the generation and savaging of these free radicals leads to ‘oxidative stress’, which may be associated. . . with nerve damage leading to diabetic neuropathy” (Sawant et al 2007). The accumulation of glucose and glycosylated proteins can produce damaging toxins which generate up to 50 times the nerve-damaging free radicals. “Not only are nerve cells more likely to be destroyed in a hyperglycemic environment, but repair mechanisms are also defective” (Head, 2007).
Diabetic control is paramount in maintaining nerve function and staving off extensive peripheral neuropathy. Glucose-level management through insulin therapy and hypertension reduction through anti-depressant therapy are two primary methods. Maintaining both these factors in a diabetic patient should be accompanied with a nutritious diet to improve the immune-system’s ability to irradiate free-radicals, states Jarmuzewska et al 2006. Metabolic control is stressed by Janghorbani et al 2006 as a necessity for PN prevention by not allowing the hyperglycemic environment to thrive. In regards to the patient’s quality of life, Dousi et al 2006 maintains that the pain in diabetic PN remains under-treated due to the reluctance of medical staff to prescribe the appropriate strength of pain-killers for the patient’s relief.
In chronic diabetic neuropathy, symptoms improved over five years of therapies and diabetes-controlling medicine in 23% of diabetic patients (Daousi et al 2006). Diabetic patients with PN are treated with a variety of antidepressants, anticonvulsants, antiarrhythmics, opioid and non-opioid analgesics, and aldose reductase inhibitors to preempt the many symptoms of PN. Cocito et al 2006 maintained that pain was the primary symptom that lowered the patient’s quality of life, and recommended that appropriate pain-killers should be administered. The quality of life increased overall when diabetic patients complied with rigorous glucose-control and a strict diet that fostered the immune-system’s ability to eradicate free radicals and damaging substances while improving neural vascularation.
PN proves to be a complex medical issue, primarily due to the myriad of ways the neural tissue can be damaged, particularly by diabetes mellitus. Simplistically stated, the neuron with its action potential pathway in the peripheral nervous system can be effortlessly destroyed in the glucose-saturated and immune-deficient diabetic host – what remains undetermined are the precise causative factors and the interplay between each other and the neuron. Regeneration of the neuron and reacquisition of neural function after deterioration is a delicate process that can occur only if the myelinating cells and trophic support remain intact. The quality of life for diabetic patients can be promoted through a stringent medical and dietary regimen that manages glucose levels and through minimizing the PN symptoms by sufficient pain-killing drugs.
Dr. Bishop of the
References
American Diabetes Association. Data retrieved
http://www.diabetes.org/about-diabetes.jsp.
Bishop, A. (2008). Professor of Biology,
Cocito, D., Paolasso,
Pain affects the quality of life of neuropathic patients. Neural Science, 27, 155-160.
Daousi, C., Benbow, J., Woodward, A., MacFarlene, I (2006). The natural history of
chronic painful peripheral neuropathy in a community diabetes population. Diabetic Medicine, 23, 1021-1024.
Head, K (2006). Peripheral Neuropathy: Pathogenic Mechanisms and Alternative
Therapies. Alternative Medicine Review, 11, 294-320.
Janghorbani, M., Kachooei, A., Ghorbani A., Chitsaz, A., Izadi, M, et al (2006).
Peripheral neuropathy in type 2 diabetes mellitus in
risk factors. Acta Neurol Scand, 114, 384-391.
Jarmuzewska, E., Ghidoni, A., Mandoni, A (2007). Hipertensión and Sensorimotor
Peripheral Neuropathy in Type 2 Diabetes. European Neurology, 57, 91-95.
Koopman, R., Mainous, G III, Liszka, H., Colwell, J., Slate, E., Carnmolla, M. et al
(2006). Evidence of Nephropathy and Peripheral Neuropathy in US Adults with Undiagnosed Diabetes. Annals of Family Medicine, 4, 427-431.
Madison, R., Robinson, A., Chadaram, S. (2007). The specificity of motor neurone
regeneration (preferential reinnervation). Scandinavian Physiological Society, 189, 201-206.
Marieb, E., Mitchell, S (2007). Human Anatomy and Physiology Laboratory Manual.
Pearson-Benjamin Cummings, Ninth Edition, 257-259.
Spencer, P. and
Neurotoxic Lesion. Environmental Health Perspectives, 26, 97-105.
Sawant, J., Vhora, U., and Moulick, N. (2007). Association of Poor Glycemic Control
with Increased Lipid Peroxidation and Reduced Antidioxidant Vitamin Status in
Diabetic Neuropathy. Internet Journal of Endocrinology, 3(3), 2-2.
Van Gemert, M., and
International Journal of Toxicology, 17, 231-275.
4.24.2008
Street Map
Disconnected from choices we make
That there is no reason why it can't be like you said
One day it's gonna happen
I dont know when I'll be on your street
But I know one day it's gonna happen
You're gonna be swept off your feet
I would like someone to make a map
Mark my home and draw some lines that match
All of the reasons why it can be like you said
I dont know when / I dont know why
It's not your fault you didn't see it coming
90 miles an hour
Gone so fast and now you're left with nothing at all.
It's not your fault
I give up every part of you that they could spare
Mixed between the petrol and the one lie
And it's code
It's not your fault
Something
You made up to your bedroom every night
Leaves us chasing memories and trying to understand
We can't wait
But their still eyes
And now that your gone to some place
I can't save you because the brightest lights are closing in on us.
What the hell just happened here?
Take me over
If I had the chance to start again
Then you would be the one I'd come and find
Like the poster of Berlin on my wall
Maybe there's a chance our walls might fall
It's all about your cries and kisses
Those first steps that I can't calculate
I need some more of you to take me over
I know I because I cant calculate
How to respect you
How to start again
It's all about you
I'm nowhere without you
We don't go breaking down - I feel like nothing ever will
We don't go breaking down - I feel like nothing ever will
We will never go breaking down - I feel like nothing
Just wanna be with you
My baby
Just wanna be with you
I'm counting up the cost of time
And when I waste some time away
And all that I've seen means nothing to me without you
So when I see you next we'll make the most of it,
Tell the sun to start moving again,
The taste of your kiss I still got on my lips,
And ill take you there with me
Trading air once more from the start
I can open up a thousand paper cuts
People hear what they want to hear but they wont change a thing
And all I needed was this one to get me back on my way
It wasn't long before I realised there was no time to waste
There was soul all around me
Everybody let go
It wasnt long before we realised
There was no time to waste
He sees the flames in her tears
Sketching on her skin and he knows
That it's come to an end
And it's no point pretending it's not
-Athlete
4.22.2008
Everything you need to launch
Sing: Alto/Mezzo Soprano.
Dance: Talented but limited training. Highly capable of learning any stage choreography.
Experience: EFFIE in “Maltese Falcon” (RT); BELLE/CAROLER in “Christmas Carol” ’07 (FP); HELENA in “Midsummer Nights’ Dream” (SOTM); BELLE/CAROLER/GHOST of FUTURE in “Christmas Carol” ’06 (FP); BONNIE (ELECTRA WOMAN) in “Captain Fantastic!” (RT); EXTRA in “Like Moles, Like Rats” (Kooroc Films); JO in “A Little Woman Christmas” (Excalibur Drama Club); SISTER/DANCER in “Cinderella” (FP); MAID in “Lady Windermere’s Fan” (TH); Fantasy Players (FP); MERMAID in “Peter Pan” (FP). Performances in multiple productions of ‘Shakespearean Shorts’ 2004-‘08 with roles including Witch II, Bottom the Weaver, Verges, Sexton, and Ursula.
Preferred Roles: Comedic to serious and everything in between. Fond of mature roles and pursuing character development.
Noteworthy: Currently taking voice from Von Lederstenger at International Voice Studio. Participated in many choirs and chorale productions. Can sing Italian, church Latin and character voice. Piano instruction with Lisa Belk from 2002-2007. 2007 Judges’ Choice Best Performance Wings Award (‘Ghost of Christmas Future’). 2005 Nomination for Judges’ Choice Best Youth Performance. Received “Overall Outstanding” in piano performance at the statewide AMTA Music Festival in Montevallo 2004 and 2005.
4.14.2008
Wrong, graceless, sick
I'm not the one that you want, I'll only let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself.'
I think it's every time I walk into a room
a silence so sudden that I seem to hear it (smiles turn to frowns)
Or maybe it's all eyes on him, in love with ego and intention.
The eyes that are just begging me for more -
This is gone and I can see it.
Your head is full of words, full of words that don't mean anything.
I'm not the one that you want, I'll always let you down.
And I'm pretty sure that you've caught on.
And you can say that 'Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself'
(If that's how you feel, then what's there to do?
I'll keep this feeling in my heart
but when you look in my eyes, you will know the truth.)
Spelled out your name and list the reasons.
A million hours left to think of you.
I can't untangle
I can't untangle what I feel and what would matter most
I can't get close and I, I can't get close
And now there's just no point, in reaching out for me
In the dark, I'm just no good at giving relief
In the dark, It won't be easy to find relief
And I'm not proud that nothing will seem easy about me
But I promise this I won't go my whole life telling you "I don't need..."
I'll tell you now, I guess like I should have told you then
Without you is how I disappear.
-Such a paradox, isn't it, isn't it?
I dropped all of my lovers.
I stood up and screamed 'I'm in love!'
You gave it to me through the eyes, hatred.
Centuries deep and true. I was wrong, graceless, and sick.
All of the things that I had learned had been wasted.
There was no living creature as foul as I,
and all of my poems were false.
I could feel my soul, dropping down through the mattress.
I had to leap up before it hit the floor.
and I'm so alone.
Illumination held out in front of my reaching arms.
The darker things get the better I see.
I'm so alone and so are you,
we all live and die that way.
I feel weak.
Thrown in wide open spaces.
We turn ourselves inside out,
expose what we're afraid to see.
You haven't seen how far down I can sink.
Tell me that you know another way to get it done
It's not me or how I would be but it's a different situation
You lay awake in the night
Just staring at the ceiling above
Pulling pieces of it out is such a waste of time
Keep on fighting to remember that nothing is lost in the end
When you burn burn burn your life down
Get me to the door
Out of bed on the track
I'm not sure starting over
It's a different situation
Undeserving of your sympathy
'Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did
Through it all, could you cry for me?
'Cause I don't feel bad about it
So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye
And sleep.
The hardest part is letting go of your dreams.
So nothing will be lost in the end
And you burn burn burn your life down
I break my heart around this
Break my heart around this
-Chiodos, My Chemical Romance, Tegan and Sara
3.24.2008
Living Partial-liver Lobe Transplantation
Abstract: Living-donor versus Non-living-donor in Liver Transplantation
What is the viability of continuing partial-liver lobe transplants (PLLT) from the living donors taking into consideration the scarcity of quality brain-dead liver organs and the ethics behind the living donation process? This procedure could have a significant impact on liver transplantation in the
The regenerative properties of the liver were known by the Greeks over 2,500 years ago, but it wasn’t until 1987 that PLLT was first attempted. The first successful PLLT was in 1987 in
The main issue relating to successful transplantation is to ensure the graft given to the recipient is large enough to maintain proper blood flow in order to achieve full functioning and regeneration (Jabbour 2004). The liver is anatomically divided into eight segments, where three different grafts can be formed for liver transplantation (Florman, et al 2006). Donor assessments includes blood and HLA typing, liver biopsy, compatibility of hepatic artery size through anteriograms, and testing liver size through Chromotagraphy (CT) Scan (Abougergi, et al 2006). When liver graft is sufficient and transplant is successful, near-complete regeneration and functioning of the liver returns in 1-2 weeks while the patient remains in the hospital (Florman, 2006).
The main argument in favor of PLLT involves gaining additional transplant resources for end-stage liver failure patients. PLLT grants more opportunities for patients suffering from liver failure to embrace a healthier lifestyle. Split-liver (cadaver) and whole liver (cadaver) transplantable organs are not plentiful enough to supply the liver-organ demand, and partial-liver lobe donors would increase the availability. Recipients have the advantage of receiving a liver transplant as soon as diagnosed with end-stage liver failure, which also prevents the body from experiencing further deterioration. Ischemia time is minimized and the liver received is of better quality coming from a healthy, living donor (Jabbour, 2004).
The main argument against PLLT is the experience of the donor during the donation process and recovery. To compromise the life of a healthy individual to save the life of an end-stage liver failure patient has its ethical concerns. The informed consent from patient may be motivated by obligation and a sense of duty to relative or friend, especially in an emergency situation. The donor is affected by the surgery recovery time, which involves on average one to two weeks of hospitalization and several more weeks for regaining pre-donation health (Florman, et al 2006). There are several potential medical complications for donor, including difficulties regenerating the liver, blood clotting, bile-duct blockage or leakage, and severe scarring of the abdominal wall and skin. Also, the procedure of PLLT is more costly than cadaver liver donation (Abougergi, et al 2006).
The PLLT has a significant and direct impact on the nursing practice. Nurses need to consider the ethnicity and culture of the patients when approaching the topic of assigning a liver donor, considering factors that affect potential donor decision (Abougergi, et al 2006). They must provide emotional support to both recipient and donor during the process and have sensitivity toward donor obligation and recipient guilt. Informed consent of the donor should be obtained only after being thoroughly explained by the nurse. Nurses must understand the psychosocial origins of the disease causing liver failure in the patient (Abougergi, et al 2006). Nurses should remain the patient advocate as well as the donor advocate in maintaining a neutral, unbiased help to both sides.
Further research needs to be conducted to prevent donor complications post-surgery focusing on correct graft sizing to enhance regeneration and functioning (Humar, et al 2004). Research should be conducted concerning the ethics of nonmaleficence towards the donor and recipient, focusing on the psychiatric state of donors in post-operation. UNOS needs to regulate the PLLT testing process for quality control between transplant centers (Brown, et al 2003). Also, improved cadaveric donation to minimize the need for PLLT altogether, including more public education conducted by UNOS.
3.20.2008
Selections
Portishead::Dummy
Radiohead::Hail to the Theif
Radiohead::In Rainbows
Radiohead::OK Computer
Massive Attack::100th Floor
Massive Attack::Mezzanine
Thom Yorke::The Eraser
^Rock Beautiful^
Evanescence::Fallen
Evanescence:: Open Door
Evanescence::Origin
My Chemical Romance::Black Parade
Chiodos::Bones Palace
^onomatopeia^
The Shins::Chutes Too Narrow
The Bravery::The Sun and the Moon
Teagan and Sara::The Con
^the Balladeers^
The Decemberists::Picaresque
Flogging Molly::Swagger
Drop Kick Murphys::The Warriors Code
^Sweet Death^
Imogen Heap::Speak for Yourself
Jem::Finally Woken
Blaqk Audio::CexCells
^When Finally Set Free^
Copeland::Eat, Sleep, Repeat
Copeland::Beneath the Medicine Tree
Copeland::In Motion
Postal Service::Give Up
Death Cab for Cutie::Transantlantism
Death Cab for Cutie::Plans
2.25.2008
Situational Suicide
Philosophers, as well as scientists and psychologists, maintain an under-pinning debate of quality of life versus quantity of life. Although nothing is novel concerning the basic ethics in this debate, a situation like the one described can strike up a fierce dispute in modern philosophers. Should value be placed on the quantity of years spent living on this earth, or should quality of life be considered only? And how do you compare two immeasurable concepts? One person’s view of quality of life differs from another, and one person might view quantity to have a value higher than quality itself. Yet despite conflicting opinions, these are merely the roots underneath the looming issue of Physician-Assisted Suicide (PAS).
The definition of PAS is the administration of a lethal dose upon the patient’s request with the intention of ending their life with relative ease. General euthanasia is distinguished from PAS by the fact that the latter must be patient-initiated and administered. PAS, as well as general euthanasia, is in a unique moral situation. Not only is it philosophical, but the issue extends into a myriad of levels –encompassing ethical, political, and medical spheres. It is an issue that radiates into all aspects of social life, because once the legal and therefore accepted view on a decent end-of-life alternative is or is not changed, the entire society will be influenced. Now will the influence be for good or for ill? That is the crux of the matter.
Oregon has legalized Physician-Assisted Suicide since October 27, 1997 upon enacting the Death with Dignity Act. The Act gives patients a way to avoid a prolonged inevitable death through legal suicide. Many stipulations surround the application for and administration of the lethal dose; primarily the patient must be under the care of a physician that has declared the patient terminally ill without hope of recovery. Proponents of the Act support the freedom it grants to Oregon residents. The privilege to choose a relatively painless and rapid death gives terminally ill patients a peace about their end, supporters say. To debilitated patients, the Act functions as a trump card over a fatal illness.
This Act essentially involves the issue of quality versus quantity of life. The Oregon Death with Dignity Act upholds that quality of life is more precious to a person than quantity, and therefore grants the right to terminate the life of a person once their life is unlivable, being void of quality. In establishing the Act, the lawmakers in Oregon defined a person’s life as unlivable because of lacking livable health qualities or being sustained in unlivable circumstances. Pain is paramount in their definition. A patient suffering from unendurable pain or facing a lingering painful death from a disease, such as malignant cancer, have the right to an honorable and painless suicide in the views of Oregon lawmakers.
PAS laws are appearing on more and more state ballots as interest in the issue spreads throughout the nation. The advancements in medicine leave people anxious about end-of-life issues, and what personal control their medical options allow. Patients desire that their decisions are dominant, and that the quality of life versus quantity of life is their decision alone. Current statutes establish that patients have absolute right to know every medical process performed and full rights to deny medications or procedures at anytime. Documents such as living wills and Do Not Resucitate (DNRs) are growing in popularity because they guarantee the patient's wishes are known and followed. Refusing life-sustaining medical equipment or medication can be outlined in these documents, and the patient can also stop the administration of them at anytime.
The US law regarding end-of-life issues already encompasses respect for the patient's decisions and protects their rights to refusing treatment. Because of the provision currently available in the law, Physician-Assisted Suicide acts are unnecessary, and even harmful to society. PAS is morally wrong and should not be legalized because the issue negatively affects numerous ethical, political, socio-economic, and medical areas. Passing PAS acts across the nation could endanger the medical circumstances of the poor, the weak, the aged, and the debilitated as PAS becomes a standard end-of-life option that would target and pressure patients in these situations. Patients outside these situations, namely the wealthy, middle-aged, and those of full mental capacities should consider the impact such laws would have on other situational levels, and detest the possibility of coercion in them. For example, a lower-class elderly retiree with a debilitating disease might not want to become a financial burden to her family for her remaining life-span, and therefore opts for PAS because of convenience.
Undoutedly, issues regarding retarded or quadriplegic individuals will be raised - perhaps the law-makers will decide that they maintain a low quality of life, therefore they can be allowed to request a suicide. How would that demonstrate the value of life? If patients who meet a certain criteria can be aggressively euthanized by the medical profession, what is to stop that criterion from expanding? Where do you draw the lines regarding the appropriateness of suicide? Or do we simply believe that suicide through the administration of a physician becomes acceptable by affiliation?
In consideration of the Natural Law Theory, PAS stands in opposition to its values. Natural Law Theory (NLT) states that life should be preserved and fostered in every individual, regardless of their state of health. Performing suicide for reasons of declining health or impending death would never be supported, espcecially injecting a patient with a lethal dose. Although PAS is morally wrong, and inconsistent with NLT, refusal of medication should always be a patient’s right. Although firm on the subject of suicide, NLT does not ignore the importance of quality of life, and is only adverse to its artificial termination. Modern technology has expanded until life can be preserved beyond that of natural stamina, supported by medical machines and high-dosage prescriptions. The patient may choose to let the disease run its course uninhibited by medicine, knowing it would lead to certain fatality. This is within the full moral compulsions of the patient, and does not endanger the rights of other humans.
I find that the provisions already enacted within the United States regarding patient’s rights and medical procedures allows for decent and comfortable deaths without necessitating Physician-Assisted Suicide laws. End-of-life quality can be facilitated through non-invasive pain-killing medication and establishments such as Hospice care. Legalizing suicide is morally wrong, regardless of medical situation or of support from medical and governmental agencies.
Links: Access to Oregon’s Death with Dignity Act: http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/ph/pas/Following official document retrieved from Oregon's Death with Dignity Act:
REQUEST FOR MEDICATION
TO END MY LIFE IN A HUMANE
I, ________________, am an adult of sound mind.
I am suffering from _______, which my attending physician has determined is a terminal disease and which has been medically confirmed by a consulting physician. I have been fully informed of my diagnosis, prognosis, the nature of medication to be prescribed and potential associated risks, the expected result, and the feasible alternatives, including comfort care, hospice care and pain control.
I request that my attending physician prescribe medication that will end my life in a humane and dignified manner.
INITIAL ONE:
_____ I have informed my family of my decision and taken their opinions into consideration.
_____ I have decided not to inform my family of my decision.
_____ I have no family to inform of my decision.
I understand that I have the right to rescind this request at any time. I understand the full import of this request and I expect to die when I take the medication to be prescribed. I further understand that although most deaths occur within three hours, my death may take longer and my physician has counseled me about this possibility.
I make this request voluntarily and without reservation, and I accept full moral responsibility for my actions.
Signed: ___________
Dated: ___________
2.18.2008
Knife Going In
Sell this house and find something lost outside your window.
Not forever.
On the night I die I swear I'll sleep outside your window.
I feel the knife going in,
I'm feeling anxious.
Not enough to kill me, I thought it'd happen fast.
But I'm feeling it now and I feel anxious.
Sleeping inches from me, I let it pass.
Emmy should I stop?
Do you think I'll make it to the morning if it's written?
Stitch it up.
The kind of song I know 'cause mother, sister, you're the worry.
I feel the knife going in,
I'm feeling anxious.
Not enough to kill me, I thought it'd happen fast.
But I'm feeling it now and I feel anxious.
Sleeping inches from me, I let it pass.
-Teagan and Sara
2.13.2008
Pink Bullets
You held a warm stone out new flowing blood to hold
Oh what a contrast you were to the brutes in the halls.
My timid young fingers held a decent animal.
Over the ramparts you tossed
The scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
Tied to a brick, sweet as a song
The years have been short but the days were long.
Cool of a temperate breeze from dark skies to wet grass
We fell in a field it seems now a thousand summers passed
When our kite lines first crossed, we tied them into knots
And to finally fly apart we had to cut them off.
Since then it's been a book you read in reverse
So you understand less as the pages turn
Or a movie so crass and awkardly cast
That even I could be the star.
I don't look back much as a rule
And all this way before murder was cool
But your memory is here and I'd like it to stay.
-The Shins
10.29.2007
Marsh King's Daughter
Come on come on, lets take a chance now, we could fall in love!
Stealing to your window, again. Now I say "We could fall in love"
Sighing in exasperation, "No." you say again "This simply is not love"
And I just know that we could work out
Even though your royalty and I am not
But there's a chance that you are wrong
And I am right this time
Come on come on lets take a chance now, we could fall in love
Come on come on lets take a chance now, we could fall in love
Thrashing through the fen and dew, I thought what I wouldn't do for you
Stealing hearts of Marsh King's daughters, well this is something new
And I just know that we could work out
Even though your royalty and I am not
But there's a chance that you are wrong
And I am right this time and you are out of line
Come on darling run with me, we'll take the bog on foot
We'll be not lost you see, though dark the bog shall be
When we arrive there on our feet you just stay close to me
Come on come on lets take a chance now, we could fall in love
Bring the rain and the bring the mire because we've always been okay
There was this time not too long ago that you listened to me say
Come on come on lets take a chance now, we could fall in love.
-Eisley
10.15.2007
.Nothing Original.
I haven't written anything good.
Or anything of worth or meaning that I feel comfortable expressing right now.
Funny how we can pretend to be so free with our thoughts and poetic in our musing and yet when it's all stripped of the brave facades we're all very silly people writing on very silly things and I'd rather shut the book on these silly blushing words before they reveal all our silly gnawing flaws.
10.08.2007
Crystal Ball
the next
step
It can't be healthy
just gazing your life away
Yet how do we tear our eyes
from those lurid flashing depths
To execute our own uncharted destiny
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